106 ICE placement #16

Tonight Beth and I went to a surprise birthday party for one of the people in the community. It was fun! Pretty standard; sitting outside with yummy BBQed items. However, the bugs are now out in full force, and since being here I’ve developed a moderately unhealthy fear of ticks. So as we sat there with creepy crallies of all kinds trying to get a blood martini, all I could think is “how I’m sitting under a tree and my feet in the grass… prime tick territory… I’m SOL”.

So the moment we got home, Beth and I had to do the “Tick Dance”. It’s a mandatory procession of steps, a recipe if you will, of the things that are required to identify the presence of a tick on your body (did I mention that these things are practically impossible to kill, and when they get on you they shove their heads under your skin and just sit there and get engorged until they’re the size of grapes! GRAPES!! HEADS UNDER YOUR FREAKING SKIN!!.. it’s sick).

So the tic dance… here are the steps:

1) once inside (now choose your “inside” wisely, it has to be indoors, but not in the area that you live/would want ticks), take your coat off and shake it like crazy.

2) shreik when ticks fall off

3) take off you pants and shake them, follow this with another shriek (it’s not mandatory that there be tick for the shrieking… it’s very cathartic any which way).

4) stump around (kinda like tap dancing) on all the bugs and ticks that are on the ground

5) take off your shirt, shake, shriek

6) continue until you are in your under wear

7) bend over 90 degrees at your waist and shake your hair out like it’s on fire… and shriek.

8 ) Spin around and around while you get your buddy (the tick dance is better carried out with a buddy) to inspect for any of the buggers on you

9) Run into your house, because you’re most likely stripping and dancing like a nerd in a slightly inappropriate place (you can shriek here too).

10) Done!